|
ETB#2-R#1-Texts and Scores Steello a.k.a. Marowak Now, cup of tea in my hand, it’s darkest than moonless night. I hope it will take away my mind and allow me tell you true about that’s the Way what lies under me. That's the way in my hood, in my Babylon Where nobody's has rims as in the "NFS: Carbon" Where big part hasn't cars, but everyone on wheels Where many of men must frequent swallow pills Someone had changed it on vodka with sausage or just on pure They don’t fear drunken fall cuz height less than forty centimeters Here small part of Babylonians searchin’ exit, and else smaller found the cure Rest screwin’ out on that, leavin’ world to Persians, measurin’ meters Their rooms. Knowin’ what searches will join to them soon, I know that too I was searcher too. I’m wanna do somethin’ to Babylonians can do. Now, I’m male Barbara Gordon as Oracle sufferin’ info-thirst Ask to M.F. Grimm or Duke of Psycho Realm, they’ll answer you about it. How many words about street wormwood is bitter But my home lemon ain’t sweeter I’m don’t forget that fuckin’ September And I will remember that forever Yeah, I want to remember that forever Cuz that tell me who I’m and what I was born not only in December I want to never forget how hanged under ceiling and saw myself Five-year old boy lay upon reanimation bed alone God did wanna me to life God put me on that way and I’m ride, thank Jesus and mommy I’m not alone I hope you never step on that way here can only fall out from Persia Nobody can realize way what lies in my Babylon from beyond the line Before somethin’ bring ‘em over line I hope you never think to stride on that way from Persia Mozzy “I was taught, no shorts, to take Get everything I want and go for break” Black Moon, “That's the Way Shit Iz” How you do it? Inhale game Take it straight through your veins And mix it with life fluid Add pain for the lamers Make your brain exhale rage Leave the enemies shaken visibly Like they tried out-jiggering Jay-Z No litanies, just pure venom spittery Like irritable green mamba No saliva, only distilled lava Steer clear of the gimmicks: Insipid lyrics with wiggerisms Shows limited visions So vivid, you can’t possibly miss it Like point-blank in an elephant’s ass Stay focus with any task Invest your best effort With even all odds against And the others like: “naw, he won’t last” Neglect these nay-sayers They may be just hating The guts of those greater: You’re only out When refs said it Respect worthy players Compare, absorb and cherish The battle faithfully When is the next one? Maybe January So hey! Don’t stay placid Some nasty adversaries? Make’em pay painfully When they’re memories And you’re remembered – That’s the way to handle it! Demise That's the way... Reppin Siberian Athens city for the crime and the peaceful living alike I've lived throu my life in a dilapidated block never reproached my folks for the life I got The life I got is the life I spot I got myself a lot I win I prevailed I got my magic life slot My pencil cannot ... keep up with my flow I got rich, I'm hype It's like I yeast up my dough and keep it grow from tha low to tha globe Too used to a well-off life yo ... Not used though to that bad ass ride that I own Life's a puzzle takin swift turns and throwin hardship knocks Sippin 'cardi on rocks, recallin poverty, homies and 40 s that we guzzled I'm past exhaustion no longer have to be thirsty and dehydrated My money's on my mind, my mind's on tha booze to get myself inebriated That's the life I created, everybody be updated on my new status of a rich kid I'm not a crook just got myself a new suitable position for real I did Do yall wanna step on my game? Look at my Dame... You better learn and start respectin my name Cuzz That's The Way I Deal With Enemies Packing enormous amounts of remedies to shoot up they ass like enemas Never venomous, couldn't care less about what you gotta say about me Keep your shit to yourself and I'll keep my fists to myself when I pass around thee ROCCA Ayo Whats my name and who i am!? One word-two kills,thats my fuckin way ! Bitch talkin shit , get ready to get layed! Razor sharp words,i m ready for the verbal wars! Fuck yo laws, i spit at your idols of mainstream gods! hordes of sexual minorities invaded this world , take a look at your neighbour, twelve years old boy Tight ass white pants,slim hair and pink T shirt That shit shocks me not, thats the paralysing fact! But this battle aint over, til the last warrior drops dead! One million thoughts , trial of the dead corpses i gather forces to battle, army of doggs, street poets And thats my fuckin way, Rocca s my name Top link in the food chain! Death angel of the gudgment day! Speak your mind out loud if yo ve got something to say But Ho you gotta know that Rocca s here to stay! And even that my way aint never has been a farytale I didn t fail... motha fucka i brought my style to another level! I carried it ever since the cradle, MC is my titel In the battle of the heavy weighters i knock yo ass out in the first round! One versus a crowd, nuking your ears with Threedimentional sounds! And thats my way, thats my motha fuckin style Storming series of punchlines, three, two, one.. knock out!!! M DWELLA How would you feel if the man wanted to kill your ass for real, So, maybe you would call the police to determine some peace, Kiddy, please! I have more expa in this, I'v been struggling and hustling and playing the game, So i tired, Just wanna have some rest, buy a farm in the west, Live and watching TV, raising kids, participating my family's contest, But i know, i got nothing to blow, so i got to swim in this ocean, Please! One portion! Oh, you know, I'm in prison, for show, What's happen in the world, it is getting too cold, global heat, I'm so tired of this shit! All we people gon die, so i ask you to try, Just to try carry through years these thoughts of idea of life People in Africa used to make masterpieces from bones, so do i, just one time, baby try to rely on a table, horse in the staples, we are rappers, Ain't that strange? Yeah, so strange...Ain't no aliens i see in this range, Bang-bang they are coming! FRom the bords of Ufos they are shouting, Something. Do not pay any attention, they ain't worth been mentioned, They brain damaged, old fashioned, specially made, they make weak conspiration U see, that's the way all nations're comin, every biatch wanna be free & then they are shouting From their seats, shakin their asses to ma beats Reeds, actin like kids... Mariachy Here I am,ya'll listenin' to Mariachy.I'that one who in rhymes gonna be an archer.Maybe you are mad about cool guys and machos,than your style is football matches.You are for these bitches who don't see reality who see only pictures.But rap is like a mixture full of different shit,are you ready for this fixture?You seem to be a gansta who's close to the world of G-unit,unless you see a bullet understanding you can't rule it or control it.Ya'll gonna be a star but be carefull cause if you make a mistake the whole world gonna know it,and tomorrow you'll be feeling sorrow for being famous that everywhere there're your faces and everybody knows what your motherfucking name is.Wait a minute,I'm on wrong pivot,what my theme is?I don't feel it just a little.Does that make me bitter?As for rap that's my first step,may be it's not for me,I don't care just some rolling Hommie Clowns show no progress, all I see is regress My rhymes akin rusty nine inch nails to ya asses And no matter how much will ya figa possess Im gonna use u lyk American Express Prepare ur docs for pubs, get ur G's loaded Well laced, true based stories promoted Hold it! Stop! Font is not bold and Rhymes u got done good, but not coated Gold plated, affiliated, in short - gang-related U made it! B-side, underground sh+! - screams faded Crossin hands on the chest, ready to bow-down Is up to u, im not pushin, not pulling ur crown Changed ur rapstick to lipstick, Bad Boy click Lookin lyka hot chick with pitiful parody of a dick Duckin from my spits-bullets, holding fake tits Bitch please, I started from nothing to big hits Ain't nuttin but a G-slang, guess who's banging? Blitzed to death, makin big mess, head bouncing? Rhymin bullshit, good shit, long verses tagging Some sounds swallowing, dirty pronouncing+ Bad meets bad, beats bad, it's all no good Lyk Boyz in Da Hood, my hommies in Sherwood Byatch! In S-world, using s-word to school ya To knock all the bullshit out of ya, inch alla Violation of rules will cost a lot to ya, fools No one of ya fools still can't use a tool Called versification, got u in prostration? I swear to yall it's a well-known situation That's tha way it goes! And I lyk it! Fuk it, I decided that way if u don't mind Aight! Punks are pressin from the both sides Shit getting real getting tight, Round 2, Fight! kormega What's the way, let me tell u, brothers and sisters Keep it real and don't brag wit' yo money or pistols My way is various, both sides, ups and downs Like Jeckyll and Hyde, double-faced, high and low U can meet me on the sidewalk, drunk wit' a broken face Next day on the lowride flyin down the highways Change the pace, baby boy, when I'm comin through Brace yourself and give a call for your weakass crew Don't run your mouth coz yo words could be clue If u don't know that's the motherfuckin way that I do Boo-ya, Black Sea homies on the way to the top Check ya steps or ya last sight will be loud gunshot "That's the way" is just a warmin' up, what's comin is the realness, when "real" mofos begin mumblin words of apologize, quickly steppin back to nowhere where they came from, no baby is safe from my gun size and barrell gauge solvin the problems I'm rollllllin since dark nights till early mornings I'm balllllin, harder than Dipset, I done told em That's the way, motherfucka, no way back, it's on! P.S. Try to keep this thread free of flood... |
Steello a.k.a. Marowak Rhymes: 4/10 Plot: 4/10 Overall impression: 4/10 "I hope it will take away my mind and allow me tell you true about that’s the Way what lies under me." That was enough! First learn to spek English, then read and write English, and only then rhyme English. Plot is better but not much. And, guess what, I'm not impressed with your text at all. Mozzy Rhymes: 8/10 Plot: 9/10 Overall impression: 9/10 Just one more good text. Demise Rhymes: 7/10 Plot: 8/10 Overall impression: 8/10 Pretty good text BUT next time try to refrain from repetition. ROCCA Rhymes: 8/10 Plot: 8/10 Overall impression: 8/10 Not bad. Not bad at all! M DWELLA Rhymes: 7/10 Plot: 7/10 Overall impression: 8/10 Work on your rhymes! Mariachy Rhymes: 6/10 Plot: 5/10 Overall impression: 6/10 Simple rhymes and primitive story. Hommie Rhymes: 9/10 Plot: 9/10 Overall impression: 10/10 Yea, that's the way! kormega Rhymes: 10/10 Plot: 9/10 Overall impression: 10/10 Looks like the best text to me, no need for comments ;) Looks like we have some results... Kormega - 29/30 Hommie - 28/30 Mozzy - 26/30 Rocca - 24/30 Demise - 23/30 M DWELLA - 22/30 Mariachy - 17/30 Steello a.k.a. Marowak - 12/30 |
Цитата:
|
Цитата:
|
...Я че-то не понял, это щас не по-русски было написано? :D |
what's that? :confused: Mega, i saw a deja vu, wudabout u? :D |
Цитата:
|
Pretty good text BUT next time try to refrain from repetition It's a Stylistic Device...you need to learn how to say the words against an imaginary beat...It'll help you a lot...:D :D :D |
Цитата:
heh, d'ya see us again in the final? Am I get it aight? I don't mind it, but don't forget Mozzy is here, and he's angry for not winnin' the first round;) Frankley speakin' I wasn't sendin the text for so long coz was thinkin' it's awful:( But I got the first place, rofl, so it's not that bad:king: peace y'all |
heh? golyte gjlot of the buldozers))) I get gasderchoud, heh, buratinozzz!!! you flow obout panks of the buterbroat!!! Heh, my kuasolky the cool!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D |
Цитата:
скажи, например если ты понял метафоры кто такие - Babylonians searchin’ exit или Persians или что такое Вавилон в моем тексте? мне похуй на твое мнение о моем знании английского, я уже который год общаюсь с читателями комиксов по всему миру и никто не жаловался, и поправляли пару раз и то потому, что говорил я о Капитане Марвел издательства ДиСи, а не об Капитане Марвел от Марвела. "First learn to spek English, then read and write English, and only then rhyme English" ты сказал, а почему же во всех учебных заведениях сначала учат как раз писать и читать? мне так же похуй на Overall impression, которая исходит из твоего мнения моем знании английского, сам же вначале сказал, что одной фразы, написанной пока загружался почтовый клиент, тебе хватило что бы сделать выводы. единственное на что мне не похуй это на плот про который ты сказал лишь: "Plot is better but not much". что еще раз паказало мне что ты ставил приоритеты при судействе и это не смысл текста, а тупое мнение о знании языка. |
Цитата:
ha ha ha....WTF? |
Цитата:
Про комиксы вообще насмешил. МЫ тут вроде как РЭП слухаем... :) :) |
Steello, когда Lex призывал тебя учить английский, он наверняка имел в виду следующее: … it’s darkest than moonless night – превосходная степень прилагательного вместо сравнительной. Превосходная степень без артикля the I hope it will take away my mind… - take away = уносить, убирать. Бредятина …and allow me tell you true – to tell … the truth … the Way what lies under me – в английском путь не «лежит», и уже тем более не «под». Тупой руссицизм + that, а не what Where nobody's has … ‘s означает или притяжательную степень, или сокращение is/was/has. Бредятна Where big part… - «большинство» = “majority”. Большая деталь тут ни при чём, I’m afraid + нет определённого артикля … everyone on wheels – 1) нет глагола; 2) on wheels = дословный перевод русского «на колёсах» в английском не прокатывает Where many of men must frequent … - frequently …changed it on vodka – change не on, а for. Простейшее управление глагола … or just on pure – руссицизм. У них 1) это называется по-другому; 2) требуется дополнение. They don’t fear drunken fall – нет артикля cuz height less than forty centimetres – нет глагола Here small part of Babylonians searchin’ exit… 1) нет вспомогательного глагола; 2) нет предлога for после глагола …and else smaller found the cure – 1) не else, а yet; 2) нет артикля перед smaller; 3) нет дополнения после smaller Rest screwin’ out on that – нет определённого артикля перед rest (если только ты не имел в виду, что вымогательством занимается отдых) Knowin’ what searches will join to them soon… - ну и какие поиски скоро присоединятся к ним? to лишний I was searcher too. – нет артикля I’m wanna do somethin’ to Babylonians can do. – единственный разумный вариант: that вместо to. Бредятина Ask to M.F. Grimm – to не нужен How many words about street wormwood is bitter – бредятина. Слабо перевести? Cuz that tell me who I’m … ошибка в глаголе. Правило шестого класса, если мне ничто не изменяет. …and what I was born not only in December – that вместо what I want to never forget how hanged under ceiling… нет подлежащего Five-year old boy lay … ошибка в глаголе. …upon reanimation bed alone – нет артикля God did wanna me to life – wanna = want to, т.е. «Господь сделал хотеть я к жизни» God put me on that way – в английском «на путь» не put, а set …and I’m ride = «и я поездка» …I hope you never step on that way - «вставать на путь» по-английски “set foot on”, а step on = «наступать на» … here can only fall out from Persia = «здесь может только выпадать из Персии» Nobody can realize way what lies … нет артикля …way what lies in my Babylon – «путь, лежащий в моём Вавилоне» ??? Before somethin’ bring ‘em over line – 1) ошибка в глаголе; 2) нет артикля перед line I hope you never think to stride… think of + -ing’овый глагол это не к тому, что "лох, съеби отсюда" и не "убей себя ап стену", а к тому, что к таким скромных познаниям в английском, как у тебя, обычно прилагаются не менее скромные амбиции - пока не отточишь хотя бы грамматику (а там, того глядишь, и содержание подтянется) :) |
Цитата:
А что смешного с комиксами? ты хоть раз реальные комиксы читал, ну там, например, трилогию Earth X-Universe X-Paradise X или Authority (где столько scy-fi выкрутасов что мама-дорогая) или Flash (где в их родословной без стакана шмали неразберешься)? ты ж считаешь что комиксы это Мурзилка.:morkovka: а ты знаешь, что только при чтении комиксов работают оба полушария мозга? думаю, нет... ты еще скажи комиксы для детей... :morkovka: |
Mozzy вот скажи, я что по-русски тоже непонятно пишу, а? я же сказал что мне похуй на оценки по рифме (куда я от ношу и язык), похуй на оценку общего впячетления, единственное что меня бесит это Замысел текста назван "better but not much", где судится именно очем текст, а не то как он написан... here can only fall out from Persia = «здесь может только выпадать из Персии» не поверишь иммненно так, только нет Т из-за очепятки. That's the way in my hood, in my Babylon(мир инвалидов-колясочников) Here small part of Babylonians(колясочники) searchin’ exit, and else smaller found the cure Rest screwin’ out on that, leavin’ world to Persians(люди без инвалидности), measurin’ meters Their rooms. Knowin’ what searche(r)s will join to them soon, I know that too Now, I’m male Barbara Gordon as Oracle(персонаж комиксов с простреленным позвоночником, на коляске, собирает информацию в ком. сетях для Бэтмена) sufferin’ info-thirst(это не объяснить, реально любую информации готов пить) Ask to M.F. Grimm or Duke of Psycho Realm, they’ll answer you about it. (они то знают что-такое info-thirst) How many words about street wormwood is bitter (как много слов об горечи уличной полыни) But my home lemon ain’t sweeter I’m don’t forget that fuckin’ September (в сентябре меня сбила машина, когда мне было 5) I want to never forget how hanged under ceiling and saw myself Five-year old boy lay upon reanimation bed alone(это реально было, только без святящихся тунелей) God did wanna me to life – wanna = want to, т.е. «Господь сделал хотеть я к жизни» здесь да прогнал, просто обычно использую want to, а wanna для "нигерства" сделал и кто-то говорит мне что Замысел "better but not much", хм... ну, да не про чужих на НЛО...:mad: |
Steello, с русским у тебя вроде всё в порядке, и идей немало. но вот такое корявое оформление напрочь убило половину смысла (хотя я, если честно, не понимаю до сих пор, с какой радости Babylonians = инвалиды в колясках, а Persians = неинвалиды). и как бы тебе не было пофиг на оценку за рифмы, она таки существует. корявый язык может прокатить на форумах комиксоманов, куда люди приходят за общением и обменом мнениями - но не тут. у меня в тексте тоже пара-тройка офигенных идей - причём чисто языковых - которые судья (по ходу) не прошарил, но я ж не тыкаю его в них носом :o |
Цитата:
Steello, no disrespect, as I get it right u've faced some horrible troubles in your life, but it's not the reason u gotta bring 'em here. And most definitely u ain't gotta rhyme 'bout it. And what the fuckin' comics r u talikn' 'bout? How can I get dopeness if u r comparin cool things wit' comics characters? Step your rhymin game up, son, fuck comics |
| Часовой пояс GMT +3, время: 22:00. |
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
vBulletin Optimisation provided by
vB Optimise (Pro) -
vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2025 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.