Hip-Hop.Ru - Мысли вслух

вот еще один текст. рифма по слабее имхо, чем в предидущем, но всё же.
очень нужно ваше мнение!

I woke up dressed in a chair with a broken chest, with all my minds ‘bout treating to death,
My space is getting closer to the front line, next time I go dissing will be on the summer time.
My AK forty-seven device is ready for the falling away, falling a parts
My self esteem will cover up you social security number with no sober up, and schema for counter.
He yo, wanna get a right way off? What ‘bout some extra bends in your cranium.
Oh shit I forgot. It’s only the trail, left from one of those caps that you used to wear.
NY. NYPD, and why are you putting all this shit on me? Next time.
I’ll have my customer called to find id, a pin, a bar, a zipcode for your freedom.
Unbreakable, invincible land,
“US – Force – No one comes close” and all that crap.
Thousands died just because of a lack of information,
Farted assed swelled headed masturbation.
Aggression and alienation. Let’s make it run!
Mista Bush you are the main wheel captain.
Washing machine of blood money, big beef with Islam, Koran,
I fucking hate Afghanistan.
Make a move Mista CIA, let’s say: “Don’t mess with the freedom of rights of the USA.”
Cock has pecked you, now your ass is in pain. Show us quiet way to put the terror in a frame.
Come on! I’ll stick my AK up your ass. I don’t give a break to any falling leaf or rising grass.
My pass is on my mind I make it real. It’s not a big deal my nerves are cold steel, I’m a kill.
Yes I’m ready to die for this land; I’m ready to be in a trouble again.
I know this is definitely not my way, but who cares….who knows all my pain?
Who will go with me in a front lane?
Who will be the one, which I will blame?
Who will make a tombstone on my grave?
Who will be the first to forget my name?
Who will cry if I’ll die again?
Who will remember me in 15?
Who will let go all my sins?
I can’t know, but it’s in myself….

текст написан мною в октябре, после того как я окончательно отошел оошел после событий 11-го. текст - чистейший фристайл, написан за 30 минут, с тех пор я ничего не менял.
практически мой первый текст на английском.