Время охуительных историй от некры

RUSSIAN GROUPIE STORY!!

I GO TO MOSCOW TO DO A SHOW AND THE SHOW WAS SICK - PACKED AND INSANE - FANS WERE PITTING AND JUMPING OFF THE BALCONY
I SELL SO MUCH MERCH I GOTTA TAKE THE LAST SHIRTS OFF THE WALL
THIS SEXY HOT RUSSIAN GIRL IS EYEING ME AND HANGING BY THE MERCH TABLE SO IM LIKE YEAH - IM GETTING THAT
SO I MAKE SURE SHE HANGS WITH US

AFTER THE SHOW WE GO TO RED SQUARE AND HANG OUT, ITS BEAUTIFUL EVEN THOUGH ITS BRICK COLD - FREEZING - BUT IT WAS SICK TO GROW UP WITH SO MANY RUSSIANS IN THE PROJECTS IN THE 80'S DURING THE COLD WAR(THEY HATED AMERICANS) TO BE IN RUSSIA NOW BASED OFF MY MUSIC - IT WAS SURREAL
AND I GOT A DIMEPIECE RUSSIAN BROAD ON MY ARM
DOESNT GET ANY BETTER

THE HOTEL WE WERE IN WAS LIKE A SLUM - WITH LEATHER DOORS - NEVER SEEN NO WEIRD SHIT LIKE THAT - I THOUGHT THE KGB WAS TAKING US TO KILL US - I WAS ACTUALLY GETTING A LITTLE NERVOUS LIKE AM I GONNA HAVE TO KILL THE DRIVER FOR TRYING TO TAKE AMERICAN HOSTAGES - LONG STORY SHORT WE ARRIVE AT THE HOTEL AND EVERYONE GOES TO SLEEP AND I AM LEFT WITH THIS DELECTABLE PRIZE AKA RUSSIAN GROUPIE IN MY BEDROOM

I CANT WAIT TO PULL HER PANTS OFF AND SEE HER BODY
I START TO PULL HER PANTS OFF AND THE WORST STINKING STENCH AROMA POURS OUT LIKE OPENING A GARBAGE BAG FILLED WITH OLD CHICKEN FAT, ROTTED FRUIT, KID JOE'S ARMPITS AND MY EX GIRLFRIEND'S BREATH(SHE HAD HALITOSIS)

IT WAS FUCKING BILE!!!!!!!
IMAGINE BEING PUNCHED DEAD IN THE FACE BY MIKE TYSON BUT INSTEAD ITS FROM AN ODOR - I ALMOST PASSED OUT CHOKING AND GASPING FOR AIR

YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME???? I CAME TO RUSSIA FOR THIS SHIT? IT WAS A HUGE LET DOWN AND I WAS DISGUSTED
I SAID TO MYSELF THIS GIRL IS A PIG AND IM PUTTING HER CLOTHES OUTSIDE IN THE HALLWAY OF THE HOTEL - SHE DIDNT REALIZE I WAS DOING THIS BUT I FELT BETRAYED AND WANTED HER OUT AS FAST AS POSSIBLE

I WENT INTO MY BOY'S ROOM AND WOKE HIM UP AND SAID YO MAN THIS GIRL SMELLS LIKE ROTTEN SALMON
WTF SHOULD I DO??????????
HE SAYS WASH HER IN THE SHOWER!!!!
IM LIKE PLEASE HELP ME
I COULDNT BARE TO DEAL WITH THIS ATROCITY BY MYSELF
SO WE TAKE HER INTO THE SHOWER AND START WASHING HER
SHE IS GOING ALONG WITH IT
AS WE ARE WASHING HER COOCH WE ARE MAKING COMMENTS
"NASTY FUCKING COOCH" "THIS SHIT STINKS" "FUCKING FISH SMELLING WHORE"
AND SHE IS SMILING LIKE NOTHING IS WRONG

AFTER A GOOD WASH MY FRIEND DOES THE FINGER SMELL TEST, THINKING SHE MIGHT BE OK NOW
BUT NO
SHE STILL STUNK LIKE A SKUNK
IT WAS INTERNAL - SHE WAS PUTRID FROM THE INSIDES

WE ARE PERPLEXED, IM LIKE I DONT WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS, SO MY FRIEND SAYS I WILL FUCK HER, CUZ HE IS AN ANIMAL THAT WOULD FUCK ANYTHING THAT MOVES

HE GOES INTO THE KITCHEN, AND AS HE IS FUCKING HER I PEAK IN AND HE IS HOLDING HIS NOSE CLOSED AS HE FUCKS HER HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAA

I ASK HIM HOW WAS IT? WHAT WAS IT LIKE???
HE SAYS IT WAS LIKE HAVING SEX INSIDE A GARBAGE DUMPSTER

THIS WAS MY RUSSIAN GROUPIE EXPERIENCE
THE ONLY ONE I HAVE TO TELL
I FUCKED A RUSSIAN GIRL FROM BROOKLYN ONCE NAMED YANA WHEN I WAS 16, BUT THAT WASNT ANYTHING SPECIAL TO TALK ABOUT
THIS WAS IN MOSCOW - I HAD TO GET MY VISA FOR THIS SHIT

ANYWAY, RUSSIA YOU OWE ME!!!!!!!!!!!
SUCKA BLYET!!!!