We won't mince words here: Although monitoring is one of the best ways to keep your kids off drugs, it isn't always easy. "If a child readily talks about what's going on, then monitoring happens naturally during the course of events," says Biglan. "If it doesn't happen naturally, parents need to make some rules to facilitate monitoring." That means:
Know where your child or teen is at all times. Make sure he/she knows you're asking out of love, not because of a lack of trust.
Personally know all of your teen's friends. Having your teen point out their friends from down the block just doesn't cut it. Know their faces and their voices. Interact with them whenever possible--without actually forcing them to play scrabble with you.
Find out your kid's plan for the next day. Looking for something to discuss during dinner? This is a great one. "So…what're you up to tomorrow?" Easy. Right?
Limit the time your child spends without adult supervision. The after-school hours of 4 to 6 are the most dangerous time for tweens or teens to be on their own. The potential for peer pressure or boredom leading to an after-school drug use habit are huge. If you or another adult you trust can't be home for your teen, find out about after-school programs they can get involved with.
According to Biglan, monitoring becomes critically important when kids reach middle school. Because kids go from class to class during middle school or junior high, they don't develop the close relationships they had during their earlier school years. Also, kids at this age are extremely sensitive to the beliefs of their classmates so peer pressure becomes a major contributing factor in their behaviors. Of course, monitoring doesn't mean you have to go through your child's dresser drawers. "Kids need an increasing amount of privacy as they get older and that's ok," says Biglan. But the balance between monitoring and privacy can shift if signs of drug use show up. Remember, says Biglan, "when it's time to intervene, kids' privacy issues take a backseat."
